| Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 2R | |
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Script
Outer space, looking at the earth
Narrator: Another peaceful, non-alien-ran day. Nice, isn't it?
*small pause*
Narrator: ...The hell is that?
*Zooms into Angol Mois*
Narrator: I’m going to learn not to ask questions about this show, aren’t I?
Angol: *talking in her sleep* Oh uncle, I can't wait to be in the same scene as you. Oh the things I want to do with you, and to you, and on you.
Narrator: That’s creepy.
*Screen goes black*
*Cue Title*
Narrator: The Hinata household. It's not like we are going to see this shot every episode.
Aki *sitting at table, being informative*: And THAT’S what a period really is.
*Camera changes to Fuyuki looking stupid and Natsumi looking pissy.*
Aki: I’m glad you understand.
*Cuts back to Aki*
Aki: Now, about giving the little frog a room…
Natsumi *very against the idea*: Mom! Did you forget what happened today already?
Aki: Oh, you were asking for it.
Natsumi: What?
Aki *tip-toeing around the question*: I love you too!
Keroro: Now, Aki, I’m sure that even the pink-haired virgin is okay with me having a room.
*Turns. Things go dark*
Keroro *dark voice*: Isn’t that right, Ms. Fuckface?
*Natsumi kicks him into wall*
Natsumi *angry/defensive*: I’m… WORKING ON IT!
Keroro: What? It’s not like it’s not true. Plus I can see up your ski-LGHLGHLGHLGH!
*Cut to Aki turning on basement light*
Aki: Here we are!
Fuyuki: Wow, Mom. Where did this basement come from?
Aki: *Giggle* You sound like your father when he left.
Fuyuki: Huh?
Keroro *Runs to door*: Oh boy! A doorknob!
*Opens door. Kids are surprised and amazed*
Keroro: This room is lame! I want to go back to the doorknob.
Natsumi: Mom, did you put all of this here?!
Aki: You know me. I like to plan ahead.
Fuyuki: Does that magazine say, “homo”…?
Aki: …No… it says “Nomo”.
Keroro: Are you sure? ‘Cause it looks like an “H”.
Aki: No, it’s an “N” on its side.
Keroro: Wouldn’t that be a “Z”?
Aki *defensive/pissy*: We can play this game all day!
Natsumi *Thinking jealously*: I don’t believe this… She never even put electricity in my room.
Keroro *pops in* I take it you’re jealous from all the stuff I got?
*Pops out and back on other side of the screen* What’s that Natsumi? I’m-A-Bitch-FACE?!
Narrator: Yes-She-IS.
Keroro: Hey, did you also get me this ghost?
*Omiyo appears. Aki and Natsumi look scared.*
Omiyo: Um… Derp?
*Aki and Natsumi run in place at the door.*
Natsumi *panicked and looking for an excuse to leave*: Oh, look at the time! I need to go buy some handcuffs- I mean fondle Saburo!
Aki: *same as Natsumi* Here, let me show you to the door!
*They run out. Keroro follows, then Omiyo*
Keroro *slightly panicked and quick-paced*: Wait no! Don’t leave me alone with Fuyuki!
Fuyuki: Oh, this day just gets better and… Toyota?
Narrator: The next day.
Fuyuki: Alright, meeting of the paranormal research club comes to order. Now for roll call.
*Voice fades out into background. Camera moves to Momoka staring in*
Narrator: This Peeping Tina is Momoka Nishizawa, an incredibly rich girl. It seems she has fallen head-over-heels for Fuyuki, heaven help the poor bastard.
Dark Momoka: I HEARD THAT!
Fuyuki: Is there someone real out there?
Momoka: Oh crap! I'd better hide! I know! I'll pretend that I'm a flesh statue!
*Fuyuki steps out of the room*
Momoka: STATUE!!!
Fuyuki: Uhh, hi Momoka.
Momoka thinks: Dammit! How did he see though my flawless stealth tactic?
Snake: You didn't use the box!
Momoka: Uh… hi Fuyuki…
Fuyuki: So… what's up?
Momoka: Oh ah...n-n-nothing- the ceiling, the-the sky, the clouds, th- damnit! *continues talking through Dark Momoka’s line*
Dark Momoka thinks: Come on, you idiot! Spill the beans, tell him how you feel!
Fart from the bag.
Dark Momoka thinks: Not those beans!
Momoka *While running away*: Sorry!
Fuyuki: Awkward...
Narrator: If we may freshen the air for a moment…
Keroro: Gee, it sure is boring around-*WHACK* Man, its boring around here. I know! I should go see Fuyuki for no reason at all! MapQuest, take me away!
Keroro: Alright I have a map and- Oooh Porn!
Narrator: Cutting ahead…
*Sky view of Hinata house*
Keroro: Alright let’s go!
...
Keroro: Fuck! I can't read maps!
Back at school
Momoka: Why? Why can't I just say I love him?
*Tamama comes out of the bag.*
Narrator: What is this coming out of the bag?
Tamama: Haha, I guess that’s what they call it nowadays.
Tamama: *ad-libbing whatever random shit*
Tamama: What’s your problem?
*Momoka goes dark*
Momoka: GrrrrrrrrAAAAAAGH!!!
*Tamama suddenly tied up*
Momoka: You ruined my chance to get close to Fuyuki… *Gets angry* Now I’m gonna beat the fagmuffin out of you with these BALLS I STOLE FROM THE GYM!!!
*Sudden cut to the gym*
Natsumi: Who took all the balls?
Random person: You don’t have any!
*Cuts to Sarge crouching down and hiding*
Keroro: Alright… as long as no cops see me.
Fuyuki: Hey Sarge!
*Keroro jumps*
Keroro: GAH! I swear to god I didn’t kill the hooker! Oh, it’s just you.
Fuyuki: What’re you doing at my school?
Keroro: Nnn… what am I doing in YOUR school! Haha. Booyah! Wait…
*Jumps down from fence. Kero Ball flies out of Fuyuki’s pocket*
Fuyuki: Huh?
Keroro: Hey, one of my crew members is around here! *Readies to go* Time to save it up, y’all!
*Every 5th volleyball hits Momoka in the face. Momoka grunts with every throw and grunts angrily when hit*
Tamama: Uh! Momoka! I think there’s a pattern here!
Momoka: I DON’T CARE! *DOOF*
Keroro: Wow, she has the worst aim of anyone I’ve ever seen.
Fuyuki: Yeah, but she has spirit.
Keroro: Word.
*Jumps out*
Keroro: Kero Ball, I choose you!
Robotic voice: Drop the pans, bitch.
Momoka: *Readying to throw the last ball and still very angry* But I’m wearing A SKIRT-
*BONK* *BUDUDUDUDUDUD*
Fuyuki *Pokes head out*: You should have took Snake’s advice.
*Tamama looks over at Sarge*
Tamama: Sarge… you came!
Keroro: Only when I see you!
Keroro *Sudden close-up* I’m gay. The end.
Keroro: Fuyuki, I’d like to introduce you to my jelly- I mean… Tamama…
Tamama: *Salutes* I’m a pretty princess!
*Fuyuki pulls out Momoka from the pans*
Momoka: *Dazed* Ha… you didn’t get the peanut butter…
Fuyuki: Yeah. Nice to meet you, Tamama.
Back home
Narrator: Back at the Hinata household…
Tamama: Who’s saying that, anyway?
Keroro: Oh, that’s just the Gundam models.
Awkward silence
Tamama: Anyway, aren’t we forgetting something?
Keroro: That’s right! I need to finish Final Fantasy VII!
Tamama: …You’re still playing that?
Keroro: Yeah, I can’t get past the title. What the hell does “press start” mean?
Tamama: No, I mean the rest of our crew.
Keroro: Oh yeah! Them. Once we find all three of them, we can take over the planet easily.
Kururu: Hey. Bill Nye. Mythbusters. See ya.
Giroro: I’m gonna put C4 in your toothpaste. Call me a pedo again; I dare you.
Dororo: Hey, Sarge... guys... I'm a ninja. *Trying to be cool* Eh? Eh?
Kururu and Giroro: No one cares about you, Zerodo.
Dororo whining: No… guys, It’s Dororo…
Kururu: Yeah, whatev- wait. When did you change it from Sven?
Dororo cries more.
Tamama: Where the hell am I?!
*Returns to Keroro and Tamama. Keroro starts cleaning*
Keroro: But right now I need to clean this place up. *Starts speaking in Spanish* ‘Jeez, look at this floor. It’s all dirty.’
*Awkward pause of Tamama’s face*
Keroro: ‘Tamama my love, will you please pass the water.’
Tamama: *Pause* Quatro?
*KERORU starts to play*
Keroro: Agáchese.
*Credits*
*PS: We love gay males, too.*
Tamama: Today’s episode is brought to you by cholesterol!
Keroro: Oh boy! I’m going to brush my toothbrush!
*Explosion*
Oh no! My toothbrush.
