Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 24

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Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 24


Episode 23


Episode 25

The following is unedited from the original document except for formatting. Lines may have been rewritten during recording and/or editing.


Nuii: I see... That is good, isn't it...?

*Three Days Earlier - Natsumi is walking past some trash*

Nuii: Neh! *Natsumi looks away* NEH! I said NEH!

Natsumi: Huh...? *Drawn out gasp of surprise*

*Cut to Giroro polishing his gun*

Giroro: EGH?!

*Bursts into the house, draws his gun on Natsumi*

Keroro and Fuyuki: WAAAAAAAAGH

Natsumi: AGH!

Giroro: Hands in the air, like you care very deeply about it.

Natsumi: Dude, you're in my house!

Giroro: ...I don't care about my hands. Oh, hey Natsumi. Sorry, we're kinda paranoid with the whole Shurara business. You been huntin' kangaroooos?

Natsumi: *Ecstatic* Even better! I found my old teddy bear! Kookadooo! ...It was supposed to be “Scooter”, but I couldn't quite grasp that concept.

Keroro: It's a bike without dignity, it's not that hard. Come'ere Choobies, let's clean off the shame. *Punches Nuii with the vacuum 'cause it's not even turned on*

Natsumi: Hey, Kookadoo's just fine, thank you very much! Considering she's been sitting in the trash for ten years.

Fuyuki: Oh sure, if the doll does it, it's fine.

Giroro: Ten years? How's that work?

Natsumi: *Forlorn* It's not like I wanted to give her up anyway... *Flashback to Lil' Natsumi* Kookadoo was my best friend when I was left home alone.

Lil' Natsumi: *Feeding* Why won't you eat? *In her sleep* Why won't you sleep? *Bathing* Why won't you wash my feet?

Natsumi: But the poor thing couldn't take the heat. I wasn't the most careful child. Before long, Kookadoo was Kookadoodoo. And, finally one day...

Person: It'll be alright, Natsumi. We all have to let things go some day. Come on, let's go get you a brother.

Lil' Natsumi: ...Who are you?

Person: Hahaha! I know.

Natsumi: *Calmly joyful* But then today, I saw her again. Right where I left her. *Vacuuming resumes* I couldn't believe it, but here she is. It was like she was calling out for me...

*Shot of Keroro vacuuming*

Keroro: Sorry, did you want me to care?

Natsumi: *Sighing* Ugh, fuck it. Come on, Kookadoo! Let's go meet Bop-Bop-Bome Beep-Beep-Bome! *Sad Manga Man transition, gong sound to Natsumi's room as she rifles through a box* It should still be in here... Yep! Here it is! Your old Bop-bop-bow!

Nuii: it. *Fast* No I don't, I'm sorry!

Natsumi: *Freaked out* Uhh... UH?! *Screams*

Fuyuki: Could you not?! We're out of bleach!

*Cut to Fuyuki in the room, Sad manga man transition, reverse gong sound*

Nuii: It's really nice to see you again, Fuyuki.

Fuyuki: You don't have eyeballs!

Nuii: ...I have friends who do...

Fuyuki: Oh sis! What if this is another ghost?

Natsumi: What? Like that ghost girl's just screwing with us?

Fuyuki: She did plenty of it while Momoka was dead.

Nuii: How do you... “screw”?

Fuyuki: *Singing* Well you put your left foot in and-

Natsumi: *Fake cheerful* Oh do stop, Fuyuki. *Matter-of-fact* I really don't care why she's back.

Fuyuki: Or talking.

Natsumi: I'm just happy she is.

Fuyuki: And talking.

Nuii: I'm happy to be back too... My old friend...

Fuyuki: Stop talking.

*Cut to night, Natsumi sleeping*

Natsumi: *Softly in her sleep* Kookadoo are you asleep...? Kookadoo are you asleep...? Kookadoo are you asleep...? Kookadoo are you asleep...?

Nuii: No. No. Yes? ...*Sigh* No.

*Gyororo's eye slithers in, shot of Giroro's tent, music stops as Gyororo materializes*

Gyororo: *Gleefully evil* This is pretty intense. ...Damnit I'm outside. This is pretty outside of tents. ...You die first.

*Cut to Natsumi setting Kookadoo on the dresser*

Natsumi: Alright, you be good while I'm at school, okay? You can keep Mah-Mah Man company!

Mah-Mah Man: So you the one she gave up, huh, twinkle tits?

Nuii: UuuuuUUUUUHHH-

Natsumi: *Cheerful* Morning!

Keroro: *In maid mode* Morning, Natsumi. I made you fettuccine and failure!

Natsumi: Great?

*Natsumi steps on Giroro*

Giroro doll: Social awareness?

Keroro: What the fuck...

Natsumi: Did you guys make custom teddies of yourselves?

Giroro doll: What the darn's a Tootsie Roll?

Natsumi: *Cuddling the doll 'cause it's cute* That sounds like clinical sociopathy!

Giroro doll: We were never meant to be. We were never meant to be. We were never meant to be.

*Cut to Keroro looking in Giroro's tent*

Keroro: *Calling into the tent* Alright Giroro, you successfully out-creepied Kululu. Come on out- eh?

Cat: *Stylophone buzz*

*Stuffed Giroro gets flung out the door, Thud*

Giroro doll: *Slowly dying* Sit when I pee... Bra size 2...C...

Cat: *Stylophone leitmotif of “Part of Your World”*

Fuyuki: *Groaning as he holds his hands to his head*

Natsumi: Uh, Fuyuki, we need to get to school.

Fuyuki: Look at my hands. Does this spell “Ew”?

Natsumi: Your forehead is bleeding!

Fuyuki: *Slightly dramatic* Yes, but was it worth it?

*The two run off to school*

Natsumi: Alright, if you survive to adulthood, I'm sending you a bill.

Fuyuki: 10 bucks says I die.

Keroro: *Calling out to them* Be sure to say no to milk and drink plenty of drugs! *Normal volume* Milk is the leading cause of death in America. Right behind dinosaurs. That's what I learned in school.

*Cut to Nuii, Gyroro's eye slithers out from behind*

Nuii: *Sighing sadly* Okay. I think the humans are gone...

Gyororo: Alright, act natural. Just your friendly neighborhood eye.

*Fade out, Cut to Tamama running through the base*

Tamama: *Incoherently babbling* ---- SPIDERS ---- WIND BREAKERS ---- NATURAL ENTROPY OF THE UNIVERSE- WaaAaAGH! Huh? Hey. You ruined my rant run.

Mois doll: Mois, -a, -a, -a, -a.

Tamama: Quit mocking me! I knew you were an evil bitch! *Slaps the doll lightly against the ground*

Mois doll: Caring is- Tires! Uh oh- xylophone! *Singing a tone* AAH-AAH-AAH-Sports. Camels are- dorks! Crawfish!

Tamama: *Gasping for air*

Mois doll: *Ominous* Tamama, you're not the father.

Tamama: AGH! That's- not- true! No! Don't look me with those judging eyes!

Gyororo: *Eye appears, Goofy evil laughter*

*Cut to Keroro spinning joyfully into the room with a box*

Keroro: Laaaaaa~. I didn't roll a natural 1! I didn't get AIDS. Eh?

*Kululu uses Mois, Tamama, and Giroro as puppets*

Kululu: *As Mois* I'm sorry Uncle. *As Tamama* We don't need you anymore. *Mois* We've turned to each other. *Giroro* And I watch.

Keroro: Uhhh...

Kululu: *As Giroro* Oh no, here comes the tsunami.

Keroro: Okay! I get it! You're the creepiest again.

Kululu: I was just trying to tug on your heart strings.

Keroro: *Quick, deadpan* Threw it out years ago. Now where is everyone?

Kululu: *As Giroro* Yooo-hoooooo. ...Mister Big Strong Maaaan.

*Cuts to them in the base*

Keroro: Me estás vacilando?! Out of all the stupid things Shurara's done, how's the dumbest one working?!

Kululu: *Astonished* It's amazing. He's tapped into the teddy bear gene that's present in all lifeforms. *Normal tone* They're still alive in there, but I don't know how we're getting them out. It's gonna take a lot of un-cuddling. And I don't wannaaaa...

*Cut to Natsumi with Nuii*

Natsumi: Welp, sandcastle didn't work out. *Nostalgic* Just like when I was little... You and I used to do everything together.

*Sudden shot of a child holding Nuii*

Lil' Shurara: HUUUUG.

Nuii: *Getting sad* Yeah... We were never apart, were we...?

Lil' Shurara: Who's my snuggle buddy? AAH-AAH-AAH-sports.

Nuii: What... changed...?

Natsumi: Someone just told me to do the wrong thing. Don't worry, it'll never happen again.

*Pan up to show Dororo watching*

Dororo: Hmmm. You threw my man out the window?! Ooooh girl...

*Cut to Natsumi and Nuii sitting by the river, Travis does Randy Newman impression*

Natsumi: *Content sigh* Ahhh. What a wonderful day of fjord.

Nuii: It was nice... Can we do this every day?

Natsumi: *Slightly cold* Oh this'll get boring soon, but... *Warmer* for now? You got it, Kookadoo.

Nuii: It's just... It was so cold and lonely where I was... I don't want to go back, but I know I have to some day.

Natsumi: *Sadly* That's not true. I'm older and smarter now. I know not to make that same mistake again.

*Close up of Nuii cuts to shot of Lil' Shurara and Nuii*

Lil' Shurara: Mommy's teaching me to be a vengeful mass murderer!

*Cut back to close-up of Nuii*

Natsumi: Also you talk now, and throwing you away would be really creepy...?

Nuii: Not everyone gets better when they grow up...

*Cut to Hinata house, lights turn on*

Natsumi: IS EVERYONE ASLEEP?! ...OKAY. *Walks over and sees Fuyuki doll* What the... How many of these are you guys gonna make?

Fuyuki doll: Threw out that old girlfriend, I'm investing in the monorail!

Natsumi: It's so realistic. Huh?! *Sees the bandage, gets creeped out* Oh yeah... He's really fucking dumb...

*Cut to Kululu's lab*

Fuyuki doll: Hi, I'm Fuyuki! Now on VHS and DVD!

Natsumi: Alright, what the hell's going on here?

Keroro: Uh, what do you think's happening?

Natsumi: *Pointing, judging* YOU... are jealous of my Kookadoo!

Kululu: Ba-gah.

Nuii: Aww, you guys made Kookadoos of all of you. I'm really flattered!

Kululu: When did you become such a nerd, Natsumi? *Takes out gun* I mean, I need your doll.

Natsumi: Whoa now, how about no?

Keroro: Here, let me try. I need your doll.

Natsumi: No!

Fuyuki doll: Now you try!

Nuii: *Panicked* Please don't! Not again!

Natsumi: *Angry* Don't touch her, you little freaks! *Runs away, panting*

Natsumi: *Thinking* It wasn't her...

Fuyuki doll: *Flashback* Laserdisc!

Natsumi: It wasn't her!

Giroro doll: *Flashback* Outward they flop.

Nuii: *Still panicked but having a crisis of conscience* Natsumi, wait! Listen! I need to tell you the truth!

Natsumi: *Fast, in denial* No you don't!

Nuii: *Sad* I'm sorry. You deserve to know what's happening.

Natsumi: *Fast* No I don't. *Purse glows* Ah! Kookadoo, wait! ...Huh...?

*Purse dissolves, Nuii is revealed*

Keroro: Oh god, mimes...

Kululu: Fucking kill it.

Nuii: *Sorrowful* My real name... is Nuii. My master sent me to eliminate all of you...

Natsumi: You're not her...?

Nuii: I'm sorry. *Leaps to attack*

Keroro: AAAAGH woobwoobwoobwoobwoobwoobwoobwoob!

Kululu: *Aiming gun* Here comes the tsunami.

*Nuii fires needles at Kululu*

Kululu doll: Hegh. It's a womanoscopy.

*Nuii slides along the ground*

Nuii: *Quietly* Owwwww... I'm so sorry. I wish I had another choice...

Natsumi: But Kookadoo! You kookaDO!

Nuii: *Defeated, holding up her arm* Not with Shurara. Not when he's watching.

Dororo: Then allow me to blind him! *Kunai flies out of nowhere, reveals Gyororo*

Gyororo: *Wheeze, impressed but shocked* Khooooooo- holy shit that was close...

Keroro: *Grossed out* Wugh!

Dororo: He must have been Shurara's eyes this whole time!

Gyororo: Man! You don't know the half of it! You guys are fucked up! Not as fucked up as our boss, though! Old Nuii here used to be his when he was a kid. When he was putting us all together, he wanted someone who would obey him no matter what. He hates you so much, he gave his old doll life! *Natsumi picks up the bow as Gyororo continues* Seriously, if he wasn't around, I'd be watching you guys permanently. You're horrible people, but he's cracked!

Natsumi: So all of that... That was all just to get to us.

Gyororo: He doesn't care about you. It's the Keroro Platoon he wants. And with Nuii's new special power, we're finally putting you down. *Starts attacking* Cuddle this!

Dororo: *Grunting sounds as he blocks, gets turned into doll* I was never meant to be!

Keroro: *Freaking out, punches self* AAAAAAGH! *Nervous sounds in the background*

Gyororo: Alright Nuii. FfffffFUGGIMUP! And let's go home~.

Nuii: I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... *Natsumi steps in front of Keroro, Nuii gasps*

Natsumi: Nuii! You don't have to do what he says! This can be your home now!

Gyororo: *Annoyed* Oy! Don't listen to her! Listen to my sultry voice! DO IT OR I'LL EAT YOU!

*Nuii jumps at Natsumi*

Natsumi: Nuii...

*Nuii keeps falling, Natsumi reveals the bow*

Natsumi: *Small gasp when nothing happens, Nuii stands in silence, Natsumi speaks to her sweetly* You forgot your Bop-Bop-Bow.

Gyororo: Well I forgot my gravity. *Flies at them, screaming in fury* AAAAAAAAAAGH!!

Natsumi: *Frightened* Ahh!

*Nuii stops Gyororo and holds him in place*

Nuii: *Struggling sounds*

Gyororo: Ugh-! AH! *Struggling* Somehow I... didn't see that... COMING!

Natsumi: *Shocked* Nuii!

Nuii: *Struggling* Natsumi... you're right... I won't be his slave... anymore!

Gyororo: How do you... have... body strength?! *Tears into Nuii's arm, powers up* GRAAAAAAAHHH!!

Nuii: Now! Do it now!

Keroro: *Sliding in with gun* ...COP!

Natsumi: No! Don't! *Keroro fires gun* Kookadoooooo!

*Cut to Gyororo in a bubble*

Kululu: Yep that's all it does. Hey, at least it's wet.

Giroro: It wouldn't have been creepy if you didn't say that.

Dororo: Well that's one more we can stuff in the vaults.

Kululu: *Creepy* Yeah... vaults...

Giroro: Again, if you just shut up, it'd be fine.

Mois: *Dramatic* Quoth the raven... AAH-AAH-AAH sports.

*Cut to the stream, gentle piano music playing*

Natsumi: *Softly* So you really can't stay?

Nuii: *Softly* You called me Kookadoo again.

Natsumi: Oh...

Nuii: I just have to accept it. I can't get back the good times I had with Shurara. And if I go back, I'll only be miserable. But if I stay here with you, I'll just be a replacement for your old friend.

Natsumi: I'm sorry Nuii...

Nuii: It's okay... You made me happier in one week than I've felt in years. *Glows, flies off into the sky* Goodbye Natsumi! I will never forget you!

Todd Sirkowski: Happy birthday to you- *explodes, piano crashes, Natsumi stares in horror as area glows orange around her. Todd screaming in the chaos, after a second* ...MAKE A WISH!

Ocelot: *Walking past* Oh no, guys, somebody stole mah juice box. Jussfuckin' stole it. Right outta my lunch box, WHERE'D IT GO?! *Splashes into ravine* It's gotta be in here somewhere.


*Post-Credits 1 – Keroro swinging back in forth while the cat does a Stylophone version of “Wiggle”*

Keroro: Pickle radish mayonnaise. Buffalo winnnngs~

*Post-Credits 2*

*Shurara banging his head on a desk, starts humming “Seven Nation Army”*

Yukiki: *Deadpan but slightly confused* Sir, what are you doing...?

Shurara: Building a desk with my face.

Yukiki: It looks complete, sir.

Shurara: Good, then I'm just frustrated. Can you get me an ice pack? No, not you, that's gross! Out of the refrigerator!

Yukiki: Oh, yes sir.

Shurara: *Continues banging head and singing* And I'm bleeding and I'm bleeding and I'm bleeding-

Yukiki: Sir, the, uh... fridge refused.

Shurara: *Stops banging head* ...Excuse me?

Yukiki: It won't let me until I give it a dollar.

Shurara: ...Ugh shit that fucking Robobo, I told him to put that guy back, not put him in something else! He shouldn't have been in that train to begin with!

Grandpa Viper: Hello boys. Did you come to see my house?

Shurara: I came to bleed on you! *Starts knocking his head against the fridge*

Grandpa Viper: *Sings the bassline to “Seven Nation Army”*

Shurara: Stupid bass playing refrigerator!

Yukiki: Sir, what's gotten you so upset?

Shurara: She was so- damn- close! There was just Keroro left. Just him left, and he was just standing there! And she couldn't do that!!

Yukiki: It'll be alright, sir. I'll personally take care of them next.

Shurara: Then Kagege.

Yukiki: Yes... Then inevitably you. It probably should have been you from the start.

Shurara: I am the one with the giant robot.

Grandpa Viper: He dead.

Shurara: Not him. *Sigh* Alright, you're up next. Tell Kagege to get into position. We're finishing this tomorrow.

Yukiki: Yessir. *Low* How are you bleeding through your helmet...?


*Yukiki leaves*

Shurara: I've got a quarter.

Grandpa Viper: That's not how I raised you.

Shurara: Ehh, can't argue with that! *Pause, resumes thumping his head against the fridge*

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