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Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 1

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Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 1




Episode 2

The following is unedited from the original document except for formatting. Lines may have been rewritten during recording and/or editing.


Narrator: *Original clip* "In the skies above the suburbs of modern-day Jap-" *massive electrical interference like a TV going haywire*

Kululu: *Maniacal Laughter* *images of the original first two episodes disappearing, Dr Squid theme plays briefly*

Distant voice: "Incoming message from The Big Giant-!"

Keroro: Agh! Oh... hehe, I gotta stop sleeping on the *shows Fuyuki and Natsumi staring* fuck my ass.

*Cuts to him immediately tied up*

Natsumi: *Bossy* Alright, let’s get this over with. Who and what are you?

Keroro: Uh, I’m Keroro. I’m the house inspector… Good house.

Fuyuki: You look more like a house maid.

Natsumi: *Slightly pissy* Don’t engage it in conversation!

Fuyuki: It’s a talking frog!

Keroro: That’s “Mister” Sexy to you! Oh.

Natsumi: You know what? I have better things to be doing today than worrying about you.

Fuyuki: I don’t remember getting dressed today…

Natsumi: I have to deal with my friends for several hours, *Looks at Fuyuki* and you have a test to fail!

Todd: *Outside, flying in a hot air ballon* Come to Todd’s Toilets! The address is 4, 4-!” *Descends offscreen, loud crash is heard, Natsumi’s eye looks out for a moment*

Fuyuki: Hey Keroro, I'm gonna jack your stuff.

Keroro: *Cheerfully* That's how I make friends! *Sudden realization* HEY!!

*Fuyuki and Natsumi leave*

Keroro: Well I'm gonna jack your rope!

Keroro: YEAH! … Take THAT, you little shit!

*Cuts to Natsumi being chest-molested by Lesbo #1*

Lesbo 1: *Lovestruck* Oh Natsumi, I feel your spine in my face…

Lesbo 2: Want me to wash that when she’s done?

Natsumi: *Uncomfortable* Okay girls! I appreciate the affection, but this is getting uncomfortable.

Lesbo 2: *Creepy* Then slip into something more comfortable...

Lesbo 1: *wheeze*

*Cuts back to Keroro, still on the rope*

Keroro: …Yeah… my rope. Now to get out of this damned thing! *Snaps his back* AI COÑO!!! Ok, maybe not! Maybe not… Minor setback… I’m just gonna have to-

*Falls to the ground*

Keroro: …STILL MY ROPE… *sad* but I miss my Kero Ball…

*Cuts to Fuyuki, slamming in the ground*

Fuyuki: TEAR DOWN THIS SCHOOL! *Flies up and down hitting the rooftop, grunting*

Todd: *Flying in balloon in the background* Nobody’s buying my toilets! *Balloon explodes again, siren blares as he crashes*

*Cuts to Natsumi running, panting*

*Saburo appears but footsteps run past, Saburo looks over, sad piano music plays and single tear falls from his eyes*

*Quick cut away to Natsumi entering the house, takes one step, immediately gets caught in rope trap*

Natsumi: *To herself* Okay… pretty sure they didn’t follow me to my hous-SON OF A BITCH!

Keroro: *Serious Keroro* SLIIIIDE. So… what do you call a girl dangling by her legs?

Natsumi: You little asshole!

Keroro: *Jumps onto her legs* Not even close! I can’t have you getting in the way of my plans! *Lower* Plan. *Low* Orders… So I’m gonna feed you to this! *Pulls out monster*

Natsumi: Oh my god! What is that thing?!

Keroro: Evil Digestive Monster!…Frank…Open up!

*Keroro inexplicably flies into the door, Fuyuki floats in*

Fuyuki: Whoa. So there is a use for a "twat magnet".

Natsumi: Fuyuki, there you are! Quickly, let me down- *crash* *Muffled* You ass…

Fuyuki: *Muffled gibberish* you too, Sis!

Keroro: *Trying to get up, muffled* nnnn… nnnn… nnnn… I don’t feel like it.

Todd: *Outside* Our prices have flushed! *Large explosion*

*Keroro immediately jumps up and captures Fuyuki and Natsumi*

Fuyuki, Natsumi: Agh!

Keroro: Ha-ha! Who’da thought a toilet balloon would save my ass again! That was the day I knew I wanted to be a sergeant.

Fuyuki, Natsumi: *Confused* You’re a sergeant?

Keroro: *Sly* Didn’t I tell you? Ah’m an alien invader.

Fuyuki: I wanna be your friend too!

Keroro: *Happy* Okay! *Mood change* Wait! I’m not falling for that again!

*Motorcycle revs outside*

Aki: *Flabbergasted* Jesus Christ, Todd. Again?! Ugh…

*Opens door*

Keroro: *In Spanish, nervous*…I’m the house inspector…?

*Immediately gets pulled into her breasts*

Aki: *Very flirty* Well you’d better be thorough! ~<3

Keroro: *Deadpan* Soy un major yes…

Fuyuki: Mom, please don’t hurt him! I think he can become my friend!

Keroro: *Turns around* For realzeyz?

Natsumi: *Deadpan, in disbelief* You’re fucking serious. That thing broke into our home, captured me and tied me up. And you want to be its friend.

Fuyuki: *Dreamy* Don’t you too, Natsumi?

Natsumi: …Kinda…

Keroro: Well, gotta initiate you! *Knocks him on the head* URGH! Alright, I broke your spine, we’re friends now.

*Phone beep*

HQ: Hey Keroro, you there?

Keroro: Oh…hello?

HQ: It’s headquarters.

Keroro: *Upbeat* Oh! Yes, Admiral! What can I do for you, sir?

HQ: Well, nothing. Just thought I’d tell you we’re leaving, uh… we brought you here to get rid of you. You and your reject platoon.

Keroro: …Que?


*Keroro turns to the others*

Keroro: Familyyyyy!


*Post-Credits 1 - Todd’s Toilets*

I know a guy his name is Todd
He sells his toilets to God
Don’t buy that George Albert crap!
Get a Todd Toilet!

Todd: *In the distance* Two for one sale!

*Post-Credits 2 – Tamama*

Tamama: Oh, my dear Sarge, I hope you find me soon. I’m so worried; I’ve lost contact with headquarters, I’ve lost contact with Giroro and Kululu… *deep breath* and her hair is spiky… AND BLUE!!! *Sniff* I can’t find my ass…

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