| Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 1R | |
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The following is unedited from the original document except for formatting. Several lines were rewritten during recording and/or editing.
Script
Sgt. Frog Abridged Episode 1 Script
Line 101 - Narrator: In the skies above the quiet suburbs of modern-day Japan, evil was plotting destruction. Golden Saucers parted the clouds, and an alien race presented itself to Earth with a blast of fire and chaos. The first UFO opened to reveal that an alien monster had fallen out of the ship.
Line 102 - Keroro: OH GOD MY FACE!
Line 103 - Narrator: The hell? Is that right? Oh, THIS is the script, ok…
Line 104 - Narrator: *Ahem*
Line 105 - Narrator: In a quiet Japanese suburb, an alien frog tripped over a vacuum cleaner.
Line 106 - Keroro: OH GOD MY FACE!
Line 107 - Narrator: What…
-Cue Intro-
-Fuyuki has a weird dream about alien frogs trying to conquer the earth and then he wakes up.-
Line 108 - Fuyuki: AHHHH! NOCTURNAL EMISSION!!!
-Natsumi stares at him-
Line 109 - Fuyuki: Oh hey Natsumi are you hard for murder too?
Line 110 - Natsumi: For the last time no! Now get out of bed, its time for school!
Line 111 - Fuyuki: Gimme five more minutes I’ll be dry by then.
Line 112 - Natsumi: (We’ll see about that…) LOOK RULE 34!
Line 113 - Fuyuki: WHERE!?!? DOES IT HAVE KONATA?
-The wallpaper starts to peel off-
Line 114 - Kids: Huh?
Line 115 - Keroro: Konata….that….is……HOT!
-They stare at each other for a while-
Line 116 - Keroro: While I appreciate you pekoponians taste for Lolita, I’m afraid I have to-
-Five seconds later-
Line 117 - Keroro: FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKK!
Line 118 - Natsumi: So what do we do with it?
Line 119 - Fuyuki: Let’s eat its legs and watch it dance!
Line 120 - Keroro: Gero!?
Line 121 - Natsumi: No we can’t, we’re going to be late for school!
Line 122 - Fuyuki: At least I can get dressed quickly! RUN!
-Keroro is left alone, tied to the ceiling-
Line 123 - Keroro: Gerogerogero, I…..have….the Po-Huoagh!
-Keroro spazzes out for a bit and the rope breaks-
Line 124 - Keroro: GerogerogerogerogeroGerogerogerogerogero…….Wheres my Kero Ball!?
Line 125 - Keroro: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
-Cuts straight to kids-
Line 126 - Fuyuki: Oh man I can’t wait to see what this does!
-Fuyuki presses a button-
Line 127 - Fuyuki: Huh? Whats 4Chan?
-Fuyuki presses another button-
Line 128 - Robotic Voice: Anti-Gravity Mo-fo.
-Fuyuki presses another button-
Line 129 - Fuyuki: Oh boy a gift card!
-Fuyuki looks at the gift card-
Line 130 - Fuyuki: Todd’s Toilets…
-Fuyuki presses another button and it makes an alarming sound shouting Fuck All Ya’ll! This causes headquarters to retreat.-
-Fuyuki presses another button that has Dan Green saying “Hi I’m Dan Green.” Then it cuts to Natsumi immediately.-
Line 131 - Lesbo #1: Exfoliate your back my love?
Line 132 - Natsumi: What?
Line 133 - Lesbo #2: Can you exfoliate my back Natsumi?
Line 134 - Natsumi: No I only exfoliate for cute boys.
-Lesbo #1 has a very sad face-
-The scene cuts to Natsumi running back home and she sees Saburo-
Line 135 - Natsumi: (He still hasn’t bathed yet, what a rebel!)
Line 136 - *Saburo looks up and thinks “Rape Face” Natsumi blushes and runs off.*
Line 137 - Narrator: Well it looks like it won’t be rape after all!
-Natsumi runs back to the screen-
Line 138 - Natsumi: Hey I’m only hot for consensual sex!
Line 139 - Narrator: That poor girl is in denial, nobody is hot for consensual sex!
Line 140 - *She gets home opens the door and takes a step, she is suddenly hanging upside down and screams.*
Line 141 - Natsumi: What did I just get done saying!?
Line 142 - Keroro: Gerogerogero!
Line 143 - Natsumi: Stupid fucking frog! This is not one of those hentais where the girl is helpless! Hell, this isn’t a hentai at all!…Why did I say that!?
Line 144 - Keroro: Well I know a certain frog who would love this situation, but now its time for my little friend the R-A-E-P squid! The male model! I’m not really sure what R-A-E-P means but I’m sure as hell going to use it on you!
-A little note that says with a ding, Rule 34 Allows Endless Penetration-
-Keroro almost attacks Natsumi with the squid but gets Gattling Gun’d in the face.-
Line 145 - Natsumi: Oh Fuyuki thank god! How are you floating like that?
Line 146 - *Fuyuki goes into a techno babble.*
Line 147 - Keroro: Is he always like this?
Line 148 - Natsumi: Yeah unfortunately, you should see how he acts after he watches Mobile Suit Gundam G.
Line 149 - Keroro: Oh yeah! I like that show!
Line 150 - Fuyuki: And that’s how I got my first period!
-Fuyuki lets Natsumi down and Keroro throws two snakes that wrap around the kids. Keroro takes the Kero Ball away from Fuyuki-
Line 151 - Keroro: Gimme that you idiot! Gerogerogerogero… I’m not the only one on this frogulon forsaken planet!
Line 152 - Natsumi: That name sucks!
Line 153 - Keroro: There are four more soldiers in my platoon! One is a pedophile veteran, one is a sex…offender or something I don’t know, one is a mad scientist, and the other is a crazy ass assassin!
Line 154 - Fuyuki: Oh my god Mom came in!
Line 155 - Keroro: Oooowhat? Oh my god the boobies!
-Aki grabs Keroro and presses him against her breasts.-
Line 156 - Aki: Oh dear god... He is sooo cute! I must have him for my new manga because for some reason I have to come up with a new character before next week and this frog will do.
Line 157 - Keroro: As much as I appreciate your E-Cup breasts, you’re suffocating me…bleh.
Line 158 - Fuyuki: Is he alright?
Line 159 - Aki: Its ok kids! I can do CPR with my breasts!
-Squeaky, squeaky, squeaky-
Line 160 - Keroro: GASP! Huh boobs? Am I in heaven?
Line 161 - Fuyuki: No don’t develop an attraction to my mom! I want to be your friennnnnnnnd!
-Keroro jumps out of Aki’s breasts while leaving something green behind and lands on Fuyuki-
Line 162 - Keroro: Friennnnnnnndship!.....Nah just kidding! I’m totally gonna enslave you all hahahaha! Huh? Oh hey hang I got a call from HQ.
-Beep-
Line 163 - HQ: Hey SARGE we got your Fuck All Ya’ll from earlier, yeah we know when we’re not wanted. We’re out of here later! Alleoupah!
-Boom-
Line 164 - Keroro: So where do I sleep?
Line 165 - *Credits, Todd’s Toilets ad with fan-kerons*
Line 166 - Giroro: Dude, I’m not even in this episode and I’m already being made fun of…