Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 13

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Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 13


Episode 12


Episode 14

The following is unedited from the original document except for formatting. Lines may have been rewritten during recording and/or editing.


Keroro: FUYUKI!

Fuyuki: Huh? Ugh… what is it Sarge?

Keroro: Read me a bedtime story. *Fuyuki looks outside* Hey, don’t question me.

Fuyuki: Not right now, Sarge; I need to get ready for trick-or-treating tonight.

Keroro: Yeah, yeah, drugs are great. Read me a story.

Fuyuki: Hey! A monster book! I could use this for costume ideas. *Opens book* I’m gonna go as… *stops on Medusa* a book.

Keroro: Buddy, this is the worst story ever, let me tell you.

*Cuts to base*

Keroro: But this whole free candy thing… I could take a bite outta that!

Mois: This holiday is just enchanting!

Raiden *as Snake*: I’m going to a pie-eating contest. I’ll be there crust in time!

Kululu: I shot a guy!

Giroro: Alright, it’s been over a year; I can’t be the only one wondering why we’re doing this.

Keroro: Come on, everyone needs a day off.

Giroro: Every day has been a day off.

Keroro: And don’t you get tired of that? By the way, where's Tamama?

*Cuts to Tamama in candy pile*


Keroro: Well if she’s trapped somewhere, she can’t hurt herself. Now, pun with us Giroro!

Giroro: Oh god, if I hear another pun I’m gonna kill someone.

Keroro: Come on, Giroro. Deliver the punchline!

*Pause, screen goes black, loud punch*

Keroro: *Delirious* That’s a punch dot, you amateur!

*Cuts to Momoka walking with Fuyuki*

Momoka: *Giggly, dopey* Well, seeing as you’re my laffy taffy for the evening… *mumbles incoherently in background*

Fuyuki: Oh great, she’s gonna eat me.

*Turns, sees Alisa*

Fuyuki: Staring contest, GO!

*Pause, Alisa disappears*

Momoka: What are you looking at, Fuyuki?

Fuyuki: …Victory.

*Cuts to Alisa’s house at night*

Alisa: That boy’s a tough one, but there’s something about him…I must have him for myself…

Nebula: That shouldn’t be too hard, Dear. Did you see that girl he was with?

Alisa: It was like he didn’t even know she was there.

Nebula: That boy is completely oblivious. I bet people lie to him all the time and he never notices. He’s different from the rest… He’s an American.

Alisa: Then how did he figure out my weakness so quickly?

Nebula: What weakness?

Alisa: Staring…

Halloween guy: I’m the Halloween guy!


Keroro: HALLOWEEN GUY ROCKS! *Cuts to him* Alriiight, so everyone knows the plan? We’re gonna take a can of soda…

*Cuts to Koyuki and Natsumi*

Natsumi: Ah, I love Halloween!

Koyuki: And your costume is so pretty! But you’re kinda showing up your friend Mois.

Natsumi: Mois? *Sees Keroro, yells out* Hey, Fagula!

Keroro: WHERE?! Okay, I haven’t done a goddamn thing!

Natsumi: *Pissy* Really. Then what are you planning to do?

Keroro: Hey now! Planning?! Do you know who you’re talking to?!

Giroro: Don’t worry, we’re not doing anything. Just embarrassing ourselves.

Natsumi: I’m guessing you took that and ran with it…?

Kululu: You have no idea!

*Kululu presses Giroro's nose, ice cream truck music plays*

*Cuts to creatures flying away*

Dororo: *Cough, drawings explode* Not contagious, my ass!

*Alisa starts attacking*

Dororo: An attacker?! Hmm, my advanced senses indicate *PHOOM* AAAAAGH!!!

Koyuki: *Gasp!* I sense a disturbance on the-

Keroro: OH MY GOD, YOU JUST NEVER STOP. *Alisa grabs him* AAAGH!

Natsumi: I’m okay with that.

Kululu: Yep.

Giroro: Yep.

*Alisa attacks Giroro*

Giroro: Alright, you wanna fuck some shit up? I’M A PRO AT fucking it up...

Kululu: *Calling out* I believe in you, Giroro! Nobody fucks up like you dooooo!

*Alisa flies away*

Fuyuki: God Momoka. It’s not bipolar; it’s “I’m happy” and “I’m sad”. Oh hey!

Momoka: *To herself* I hope Fuyuki appreciates my lack of imagination.

Fuyuki: Momoka! *Waving* Did your washing machine go to war?

Momoka: *Excited gasp* *Calling out* Only over you, my love!

*Alisa drops down between them*

Alisa: Don’t look at him. Don’t look at him. Don’t look at hi- *Turns*

Fuyuki: 1, 2, 3, go-!

Nebula: NNNOPE!

*Flies away*

Fuyuki: Hey, I got my game baaaack!

Momoka: *Dark Momoka* Fuyuki’s mine for the day, you bitch! *Turns* Paul!

Paul: Ha-HA!

*Cuts to Halloween Guy*

Halloween Guy: Alright! It’s time to bob for *PHOOM* AAAAAGH!!!

Guy: I didn’t know it was Burning Man!

*Cuts to Paul*

Paul: Use this combat suit I stole from the Keronians. It's in a coffin because I have no faith in you.

Momoka: *Flying off* Myyyy COUPOOOOOOON!

Koyuki: *Calling out* Dororo! Hang on!

*Alisa lands*

Alisa: I see this boy is more popular than I thought.

Koyuki: Let Dororo go!

Alisa: I thought his name was Fuyuki…

Koyuki: Him too!

Alisa: Never. *More confrontational* Fuyuki belongs to me.

*Nebula turns into tentacles*

Fuyuki: *Gasp!* *Remembers Medusa picture* Look out! She reads!

*Alisa’s eyes flash, Koyuki and Momoka turn to stone*

Alisa: I’m letting you know that I’m your boyfriend now.

Fuyuki: Don’t you mean girlfriend?

Alisa: Not where you’re going.

*Flies away, scene transitions to Alisa’s house*

Fuyuki: …Marco!

Alisa and Nebula: Shut up.

Fuyuki: What’s really going on? Why me?

Nebula: Alisa has taken a liking to you, boy.

Alisa: I chose you because...I'm lonely.

*Quiet scream for Dororo*

Fuyuki: Well I don’t care anymore. What was that?

Alisa: That was just my dad’s lunchbox.

Nebula: I keep my favorite food in there.

Fuyuki: Oh! Anything I could have?

Keroro: Fuyuki? Fuyuki?!

Fish guy: UUUURGH

Keroro: BONEY?!

Fuyuki: Sarge, you couldn’t fill up anybody.

Keroro: Right back at’cha, Varsity reject!

Alisa: I used to be a doll, but my dad brought me to life to help him find his food. You see, my dad comes from a special race of aliens. They like to eat aliens. Your friends are aliens. You’re smart enough to figure this out.

Fuyuki: ...I am. FUCK.

Alisa: But he’s not going to eat you, Fuyuki. You’re a special boy. I want to keep you for myself.

*Tamama crashes through window*

Tamama: YEEEAH! Told you, girls! 40th time’s the charm!

Fuyuki: Natsumi! Quickly! Before she makes me marry her!

Alisa: You know, we don’t have to marry. I just wanted a boyfrie-

Natsumi: You better not have hurt my brother!

Alisa: I didn’t. I may have tied him up, but I don’t want to hurt him…

Natsumi: …You… don’t?

Alisa: Of course not. I really like Fuyuki.

*Cuts to Momoka, crack appears*

Fuyuki: Well…okay, but what about my friends?

Nebula: Eh…I suppose if you accept Alisa’s proposal, I can let them go.


Fuyuki: Hmm…will you promise not to eat anyone else on this planet?

Nebula: I can leave whenever I want, so yeah, I’m cool with that.

*Loud crack*

Fuyuki: Alright. I’ll be Alisa’s boyfriend.

*Momoka’s head explodes*

Snake: *as Raiden* STRUT H IS DOWN!

*MGS music: Dun Dun Dun-Dun-Dun!*

*Koyuki turns back to normal*

Keroro, Tamama, Kululu, Dororo: YAAAAY!

Keroro: But it’ll never bring back Boney!

Fuyuki: So, AlisaAAH?

Keroro: AAAH?

Mois: *Cheerful* Oh, she flew away. Well, she hit her head on the chandelier and fell back to the ground, but then she flew away again. I’m surprised you guys didn’t hear that!

*Cuts to Fuyuki and Natsumi*

Fuyuki: I hope Momoka’s okay now that I’m taken. She almost lost her head!

Natsumi: Shut up, Fuyuki.

Fuyuki: She better get headway in finding a replacement!

Natsumi: *Offended* She’s dead, Fuyuki!

Fuyuki: Alisa… Well, she's not there. I win by default.

*Crashing in distance*

Keroro, Tamama, Giroro: *Gasp!*

Keroro: That. Is not. What I wanted for my birthday.

Kululu: Too bad. It’s a gift from HQ. Let’s see, the note says “We need you to keep this around for us. Also you’re still fired. Also we’re not fixing your roof.”

Keroro: That’s terrible!

Giroro: That’s obvious!

Tamama: It’s doing something!

*Counter activates*

Keroro: *Nervous* 175 days…

Giroro: Until what…?

Kululu: “Also your hats are made of children.”


*Post-Credits 1-Giroro*

Ice cream truck

“Papa mow-mow papa oom mow-ma-mow-“

“Detachable pe-“


“Cotton-Eye Joe”

“Let’s all go to the lobby”


Birdy: Yeah, I don’t know when we’re coming back. I haven’t seen my back in years.

Ice cream truck ending

*Post-Credits 2*

Alisa: Dad, what am I?

Nebula: Well, honey, have you ever seen Toy Story?

Alisa: No.

Nebula: Good. It’ll ruin your life.

*And now a word from our sponsor*

Tempe: You can never have too much fun at a park! *Rolls down hill*

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